Aug. 12th, 2011

rockstar pose gina prey
10 Ways to Love the People in your Life

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Tara Sophia Mohr

“At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield

We all grow up with some healthy stories about love and some unhealthy ones. I learned some beautiful, life-giving ideas about love, ideas like these:

Loving people means believing in their potential.
Love means treating people with kindness and gentleness.
Loving the people in your life means celebrating their successes and cheering them on.
But I also grew up with some stories about love that I came to see weren’t so helpful. Those ideas about love bred problems in my relationships.

One of those stories was: Loving someone means always being available to them. (Turns out, it’s not true, and living as if it is breeds resentment.)

Another was: Loving someone means always having space for what they want to talk to you about. (Turns out, not true either!)

Another myth about love: If you love someone, you do what they are asking you to do, out of love, even if it feels difficult. (I can tell you, that doesn’t work so well.)

I’ve developed my own guidelines for loving the people in my life, guidelines that express how I want to relate to the people around me.


These are some of my guidelines for loving:
1. Tell them about their brilliance. They likely can’t see it and they don’t know its immensity, but you can see it, and you can illuminate it for them.

2. Be authentic, and give others the gift of the real you and a real relationship. Ask your real questions. Share your real beliefs. Go for your real dreams. Tell your truth.

3. Don’t confuse “authenticity” with sharing every complaint, resentment, or petty reaction in the name of “being yourself.” Meditate, write, or do yoga to work through anxiety, resentment, and stress on your own so you don’t hand off those negative moods to everyone around you. Sure, share sadness, honest dilemmas, and fears, but be mindful: don’t pollute.

4. Listen, listen, listen. Don’t listen to determine if you agree or disagree. Listen to get to know what is true for the person in front of you. Get to know an inner landscape that is different from your own, and enjoy the journey. Remember that if, in any conversation, nothing piqued your curiosity and nothing surprised you, you weren’t really listening.

5. Don’t waste your time or energy thinking about how they need to be different. Really. Chuck that whole thing. Their habits are their habits. Their personalities are their personalities. Let them be, and work on what you want to change about you—not what you think would be good to change about them.

6. Remember that you don’t have to understand their choices to respect or accept them.

7. Don’t conflate accepting with being a doormat or betraying yourself. Let them be who they are, entirely. Then, you decide what you need, in light of who they are. Do you need to make a direct request that they change their behavior in some way? Do you need to take care of yourself better? Do you need to set a boundary or to change the relationship? Take care of yourself well, without holding anyone else in contempt.

8. Give of yourself, but never sacrifice or compromise yourself. Stop if resentment is building and retool. Don’t do the martyr thing. It helps no one and nothing.

9. Remember that everyone you encounter was created by divine intelligence and has an important role to play in the universe. Treat them as such.

10. If you want to keep growing emotionally and spiritually for the rest of your life, accept this as your mantra and try to live as if it were true: Everything that I experience from another human being is either love, or a call for love.


I try to do this in my own life but I don't always succeed. I will keep trying.

Ok, so swallowing my pride here...

JustMe

Because I know we're all dealing with a crappy economy and lots of folks are dealing with crises of their own but if you can help, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to get enough money to be able to afford either a plane ticket or a rental car to go home to help my sister take care of Mom for about a week or maybe less and to afford care for the dog.

Please don't feel bad if you can't help. I won't hold it against you because I understand.

ETA:  Because I apparently fail at button making in Paypal, send me a comment and I will send you the email account where you can send the donation. Not sure how I effed this up XD. If you have me on GChat, you already have my email address.

 

ETA2: Think I fixed it...

 

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FYI DFW FOLKS!

rockstar pose gina prey



Free rapid HIV testing at UT Southwestern's HIV Prevention Unit.
Call 214-645-7300 for more info.

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Satire: You're doing it right, Nez

rockstar pose gina prey
News with Nezua: The Invisible Flower

JUDGING BY THE EGREGIOUS SILENCE on mainstream U.S. infotainment stations, one might assume that the life and premeditated murder of an innocent child is only worth our compassion and outrage if she is white. Because the brutal shooting and home invasion that swallowed up the life of nine year-old Brisenia Flores has had a hard time getting any play on major “news” outlets.

AND SO IT FALLS ON US here at UMX—as well as at other blogs and independent news sites—to spread the word; to remember the name and smile of Brisenia Flores; to make clear that this killing is no isolated event perpetrated by a couple “crazies,” but is woven tightly to the anti-Mexican/anti-immigrant/anti-Latin@ sentiment that festers in so many layers of popular US culture.

And yes, the silence is egregious.  When Forde's trial began, I realized that lots of people on my feeds had never even heard about Brisenia and that is unacceptable.  The murder of a 9 year old little girl in her home by racist, anti-immigrant terrorists is something each of us should have heard about.

Day 3- 8 Ways to Win My Heart

rockstar pose gina prey
Because this is about winning my heart and not about getting into my pants, I'm going to be pretty philosophical here.  Enjoy.Read more...Collapse )Any questions?

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sexgeek
Seriously folks, I know most of the people on my list are teh sexxay and often use the things I happen to be selling in their repertoires.  Imagine how much more fun you'll have knowing that all that sexy, kinky sex you're having was made possible by me!  No?  Thinking about me during sex isn't appealing?  OK, fine.  Then how about just the satisfaction of knowing you helped out a sister with her side hustle?  Surely that's a plus!  :D

Another plus?  The stuff we sell at Love U is guaranteed NOT to give you chemical burns on your delicate parts.  You will not find phthalates in my store.  Cross my heart.
rockstar pose gina prey
Originally posted by beren_writes at LJ Facebook/Twitter work around to get rid of the annoying boxes
stolen from pombagira who pulled it from someone else who pulled it from yet another person :) Yes, this is signal boosting.

Passing this along from my flist.

Thanks to midniterose, here is how to stop the crossposting of comments/entries from LJ to sites like Facebook:

There is a way to disable everything. Here is what you have to do:

1. Go to your "Journal" menu, and select "Journal Style"
2. To the right, you'll see what theme you're using, with a link stating "Customize Your Theme". Click that link.
3. Scroll down a little ways, and you'll see that on the left side of your screen, you have multiple options to modify your theme. Click on the "Custom CSS" link, and it should load the options for doing Custom CSS.
4. From here, all you have to do is go to the "Custom Stylesheet", and put in that line.

.b-repost-item {display:none}

once you have it pasted in there, save changes.

Feel free to PASS THIS ON!!

ETA: This prevents the "repost to FB/Twitter" ticky boxes from being displayed when someone comments on one of your posts. It seems to work, UNLESS the person is viewing your page in their own journal style, in which case it might not work.

ETA2: Inserting the code below in your custom CSS box reportedly works for more kinds of journal styles, including custom ones (this courtesy of xnguard):

.b-repost-item, FORM#qrform > TABLE[style="border: 1px solid black;"]:last-child TD[style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;"]:first-child { display: none !important; }

OMG MERENGUE DOG!

rockstar pose gina prey
This is just too damned funny and I absolutely must share it.

JustMe
You could be taken at any time, day or night. You might be at home, at work or traveling on the street. Your captors may be in uniform or civilian clothes. They forcibly take you away, giving no reason, producing no warrant. Your relatives desperately try to find you, going from one police station or army camp to the next. The officials deny having arrested you or knowing anything about your whereabouts or fate. You have become a victim of enforced disappearance.
Demonstration against enforced disappearances in Pakistan
Demonstration against enforced disappearances in Pakistan © Private


Enforced disappearance is a grave human rights violation and a crime. Amnesty International defines an enforced disappearance as the detention of someone by the state or its agents, when the authorities deny that the victim is in custody or conceal what has happened to them. Enforced disappearances have occurred across the world - in Sri Lanka, Russia, El Salvador, Morocco, Iraq, Thailand, Pakistan, Bosnia, Equatorial Guinea, Egypt and Argentina, to name a few. No one is immune; victims have included men, women and children.
An enforced disappearance violates the rights of both the disappeared person and their relatives. Disappeared persons are denied the right to a proper arrest and to a fair trial. They may be tortured, detained in poor conditions and eventually killed. The relatives of the disappeared persons suffer anguish every day, not knowing what has happened to their loved one; they are victims, too. They often encounter social isolation, with relatives and neighbors being too afraid to offer aid or support. If the disappeared person was the main breadwinner for the family, they can also suffer economic hardship.
August 30 is observed each year by Amnesty International and other activists worldwide as the International Day of the Disappeared. We remember those who have disappeared and their relatives, and we take action to get disappeared persons released or charged with a recognizable crime and given a fair trial if they are still in custody. We also seek to bring the perpetrators of enforced disappearances to justice.
This month's Freedom Writers newsletter features the cases of three individuals who are the victims of enforced disappearance. We ask you to please take action on these cases in an effort to persuade the relevant authorities to account for what has happened to these individuals and to take steps to prevent future disappearances.

I have been remiss

rockstar pose gina prey
In not posting this when it first came out.  My online friend, Nezua, attended the Netroots Nation Conference in July and while there filmed this mock ICE immigration status checkpoint.  It's interesting to watch the reactions of the conference attendees when faced with the mock ICE agents.  The lack of understanding shown in the video is HUGE but sadly not surprising.  John Aravosis, a so called progressive blogger had perhaps the worst reaction of all of them and threatened legal action (he's a lawyer, of course).  However, there were other folks who totally got what they were trying to illustrate and those people let me have a little bit of hope.  Here's the vid:

News With Nezua | The Illegal Europeans from nezua on Vimeo.

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